Time to Give Thanks...

Fuck people.
That is all.

Just kidding. But that is my sentiment today. I think it's the music I'm listening to, just has me in a "fuck everyone" kind of mood.
People suck and that's the bottom line. The people you care about will be the ones that hurt you the most. But strangers too. The outside world sucks. The ignorance, inconsiderateness, obliviousness, laziness, stupidity, it's just all overwhelming to me sometimes.

I was thisclose to getting in a car accident this morning. At a parking lot. Because some idiot decided a parking lot was the perfect place to ignore stop signs and speed. But because I always assume everyone on the road is stupid, it's like I already expected the idiot to blow the stop sign and had already slowed down, foot hovering over my brake. What I didn't expect was for the guy to give me the finger for apparently getting too close to his precious old ass, shitty truck. Really dude? Why? You blew a stop sign, completely blew it, there was no room for error, no tree blocking it, nothing like that. I didn't even honk at the guy. Yet he felt entitled to give me the finger because he almost hit me? That's the kind of mentality that has made me lose faith in the human race. The entitlement of some is really scary. And what's also scary is that people act like this, not knowing who is on the receiving end of their middle finger. Were I to have given in to my first instinct, I would've rammed the shit out of him and his truck and he'd be pinned against some storefront. See? I can be crazy too, except I know how to control myself, which is why he got to continue on his merry way while I sat there fuming. He's lucky to be alive, frankly. Give the finger to the wrong person and he wouldn't have made it out of that parking lot. It seems as if I'm exaggerating, but just Google how many road rage deaths we've had this year alone. Crazy knows crazy, so I don't mess with people on the road. Well...I try not to, anyway.

But that's not why I'm in a "fuck people" kind of mood. Not just because some asshole in a parking lot. It's just the day to day experiences that make me realize that I'm better off completely alone. Unfortunately for me, I've gotten too attached to my family. Those loveable bastards. They annoy the hell out of me, but I'll be damned if I don't love the shit out of them.

With that said...Thanksgiving is fast approaching. So it's time to count my blessings. I don't feel very holiday-ish, or thankful, I've just not been able to get excited about anything lately, but those are my own issues. I have taken the time to think about things I'm thankful for in 2014, to force myself to pick some stuff, as I know there's plenty to be thankful for and my lack of enthusiasm shouldn't prevent me from acknowledging it.

So here goes...I am thankful for the following:

1. My family. That I still have my viejitos around, relatively healthy. Same for my siblings. That we all love each other and generally make each other our priority. For the cousins and aunts/uncles that I see, that still put an effort to keep in touch an see each other every so often.
2. The new job. Of course, how could I not? I'm thankful to be in a less stressful environment and not be miserable every day.
3. I'm thankful for "aight" health (haven't gone to the doctor in a few months, so not 100% sure on this one.)
4. I'm also thankful that I have a roof over my head, and Danny (my truck that I've owned for 10+ years).

Right now, that's all I can come up with. And even that took forever. Again, it's not that I'm ungrateful, just in a negative frame of mind. And when you're being negative, it's hard to think about the positive in your life, but I know there's many, many positives and many things I should be grateful for. I just need to get out of this funk.

I am looking forward to seeing my family tomorrow. We have relatives from out of town and so there's two adorable (but bad ass) little boys I'm eager to see. Once I'm at my parent's house, surrounded by people I love and who I know will have my back no matter what, I'm sure I'll be in a MUCH better frame of mind.

Happy Thanksgiving! Hug your loved ones.


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