April 26, 2023
Here I am, 2 days from turning 40. Man, 40 years old, I can't believe it. I feel every bit of it, too. I haven't posted in forever ago, I've been depressed and am not ashamed of it. Life has been kicking my ass these past couple of years, which each one getting harder than the next. Pandemic? That's nothing. Looting? No biggie. Mom's cancer? Brace yourself for more. Peanut's autism...it just kept getting worse and worse and so I couldn't bring myself to come on here and update on shit I was suffering through at the moment. I don't know what it is about today that's brought me here, but part of it is hoping someday you get to read this stuff and understand your crazy mother. The why I am how I am part of it. I've been struggling with your diagnosis, so much. Let me explain. It's not so much the diagnosis itself. I was already struggling with trying to break generational cycles with you. It's not something I can talk to about to many pe