Trying New Things...

Those who know me, know that I'm a bit anti-social. Maybe that's putting it lightly.
I'm a homebody, I like to keep to myself, hate meeting new people, despise crowds and get social-anxiety in most situations where I have to hang out around people I don't know, or around a lot of people. Thus, I usually tend to avoid situations where I know I would be exposed to that.

This year, however, I'm trying something new, and I'm making an effort to get out there and do new things and have new experiences. Not with new people, necessarily, but people I know and love. I have to start small and besides, I think I'm too old to be making new friends, but you never know. I am going out later this week with some ladies from work, so that will be new, and I'm sure lots of fun.

I went with family to a big fest in a nearby suburb that was PACKED. I almost had a panic attack walking through the crowd, in fact, I had to walk out behind the generators for one of the food trucks and try to calm down. I told my husband to go on without me, and he said he'd be back with something to drink for me. I immediately felt bad and became determined to get through it, cuz you know what, screw this crowd. So I powered through the crowd and caught up to him just as he was telling my cousin that I stayed behind. The crowd was so bad that even they were a bit overwhelmed, so I didn't feel as bad. On the way back out of the crowd, I led the way and when we arrived at a safe place, my other cousin and husband were cracking up, saying I looked like a football player, just pushing people out of my way. They were just following closely behind me, saying they knew where I was in the crowd because it looked like Moses parting the Red Sea, ha ha. I'm a tall girl, and after saying "excuse me" loudly, I feel I can walk through, and I will fit, plus I had no patience for the people who just want to stand there and not move out of the way. I have to make my own path sometimes.

I also went to a blues festival, another crowded place. Luckily, it wasn't too bad, as the weather was kinda crappy. But I did fulfill one of the things on my bucket list, which was to dance in the rain. It was nice.

My cousin, sister and I participated in a scavenger hunt for the second time. After getting 2nd place at the last one, we spent the days leading up to the hunt joking about how we were absolutely going to win and our competitors should be scared of us. The day arrived and lo and behold, we won. Team Sherlock Holmies in full effect!

There was a mariachi fest that was super packed, but I also went to that one, mainly because Big Momma wanted to go and drove in to the city to do so, therefore I had to go with. And I had a good time, despite the overcrowding and the ignorant people that want to get in your way and obstruct your view.

This past weekend I attended another music fest near my sister's house. We enjoyed a funnel cake and some lemonade, and people watched while we listened to a combination of music coming from either of the two stages. Had to walk through heavy crowds at times, and managed to maintain my composure. It was a good time.

Recently, I also hosted a family party at my house, those are always a blast. They can be stressful, because I'm a planned and like things done a certain way, but this time I made a huge effort to not let this party stress me out. It's my family, they will accept me and my party as I am and if not...they know what to do. Afterwards we headed to the crowded ass casino which almost drove me up a wall, luckily, my sister knows of my "issue" and was always good about getting me to a safe place. Love her! I don't regret the visit either, I didn't gamble, but spending time with the family is always a great time.
So as far as exposure to people, I'm definitely getting better, I think. At least, I'm forcing myself to face my fears more often. My husband constantly says he's proud of me. He, better than anyone, knows how bad it can be and sees how far I've come.

Summer's halfway over, but I'm looking forward to see what other activities I manage to squeeze in before winter comes and kicks out butts again. Bring it on, crowds!


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