So, in keeping up with the routine of the last few days, I'm up late and unable to sleep. 
Since I was talking about the movie Mortified in my last entry, it occurred to me to go to my bookcase and grab some of my old journals. I have quite a few, actually, some that I would've rather not have gone through, but I've definitely come across some interesting things, among those some of my poetry. 

Geez, some of that stuff was so cheesy, but it's still nice to read back on and reminisce about what I was going through at the time these poems were written and who I was thinking of, my muses. Some of these are random as hell and can't really be attributed to anything other than sheer boredom. 

So I've grabbed some of the least cringe-worthy ones and I'm posting them here for posterity. I've left them relatively untouched, so I can come back, read them, and be as amused as I was tonight, rifling through my old writings.

Si tu supieras cuanto te quiero, entenderias el porque.
El porque mi sufrimiento, cuando alguien con otra te ve
Tal vez mejor no te importe, ni te interese mi dolor,
Tal vez te da gusto, verme sufrir por tu amor.
Eso ,mi vida, no es justo, pero nunca te reclamare,
Yo te adoro con toda el alma, tu admiradora siempre sere
Porque me he enamorado de ti, si nunca me has dado una señal,
Al contrario no has hecho mas que en la espalda clavarme un puñal.
Me alientas la esperanza, solo para mantenerla viva,
Sabiendo que yo por ti, daria hasta la vida.
Por favor no vayas a desperdiciar este amor tan real,
Yo sere por siempre tuya, honesta y leal.
No entieno el porque de tus seguidos rechazos,
No ves que mi alma esta hecha pedazos?
Que hizo yo para merecer este castigo?
De tener este amor tan fuerte, que no es correspondido?
Ojala y un dia te des cuenta, de lo mucho que yo te amaba,
Y de que fuerte fue el amor, que yo siempre te brindaba.
Este amor me sofoca, siento que voy a morir,
Pero esa opcion es preferible, porque sin ti no quiero vivir. 

Do you love him? I doubt that you do.
I doubt that the feelings you claim you have are true.
He has no idea; he thinks he’s in love,
He feels he’s been blessed by the Lord up above.
You know you’re just using him for your sick pleasure,
The evilness of your actions is beyond a measure.
I see the falseness in you; it’s difficult to hide,
And it’s hard to explain to him how much you have lied.
He would never understand, how I know what I know,
He’ll think I’m just doing it, to get him to let you go.
He’ll think I’m just bitter, and want him for me,
But he doesn’t know I finally understand, that it’s not meant to be.
I am worried because I care, not for any other reason,
I am just really sick of your actions, your lies and your treason.
He deserves much more, than the deceit you can give,
He deserves someone better, someone who inspires him to live.  
I’m not saying that’s me, but definitely know it’s not you.
And if he knew the truth, he would agree with me too.
But he wants to play blind, and that’s his choice to make,
I’ll just be there for him, when he realizes his mistake.
That is what you are, and being with you he’ll regret.
But I’m positive, that you won’t take long to forget.
You will hurt him real bad, and I’ll help pick up the pieces,
And I’ll ensure that his relationship with you immediately ceases.
Above all I am his friend, and I’ll always be there,
Especially when he realizes life isn’t fair.
When he realizes that you are not who you said,
And when his heart is broken, and he’d rather be dead.
And just when he thinks he can’t take it anymore;
I’ll get him through it, because that’s what I’m here for.
Friends ‘til the end, or says the cheesy line,
And with or without you, we’ll be just fine.
So I’ll patiently wait, until the day the truth comes to light,
Because I know that in the end, things will be just right. 
(For this poem, I know exactly who I had in mind when I wrote it and ironically enough, the woman I'm referring to in it, got married to someone else AND my now-husband and I went to their wedding. Funny how things work, huh?)

I believed he was true, I never had a doubt.
I thought we were happy, but didn't know what he was about.
Everything I thought about him, he was the opposite,
My image of him and the reality definitely didn't quite fit.
He lied and deceived me, he made me his fool,
And all I did was love him, how could he be so cruel?
This was so unexpected, I never would've thought,
That the man I loved the most, really loved me not.
He played the part perfectly, like an actor in a play,
The performance he put on, would've been suited for broadway.
But who's he trying to impress, who is he putting on a show for?
I know it's not for me, for it's me he hurt to the very core.
Why? That is the question running through my head.
Why would he do this, why has he my heart misled?
I don't know what to feel…anger, sorrow, hate?
His reasons for doing this…for hours I could debate.
But I know deep inside that the truth I will never know.
And I'll just live with the fact, that my lover is now my foe.

I’m stuck here in the same ol’street
Been stuck here in the same ol’road.
I’m stuck here in this same ol’house
I’m in a room but all alone
I feel the loneliness in me.
The tears come flowing gradually.
I reach out for someone to help me
But I’m by myself, how can this be?
I need to fight the loneliness,
I need to fight the pain.
I need to rearrange my life
Any my happiness regain.
I need to fight this problem now
Because it’s killing me.
How I will do it, I not know how
But I can’t let this be
Hello! I’m crying out for help
Can you people hear me?
I’m determined to get out
So, somebody help me, please.

I'll post more up later. I came across tons of unfinished ones that may be worthy of finishing up. For me though, it's easier to write poems when I'm upset and worked up about something. So maybe next time my husband or boss piss me off, I can come back and wrap some of those up. Ha.

Speaking of boss, I shall go back to watching reruns of The Office. I find it amusing that despite some of the most ridiculous scenarios on the show, some of the craziness that goes on in my workplace still manages to top them. Moving forward, I'll get into more of the crazy work stories, as those seem to amuse people, so might as well record them for posterity.


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