Trying New Things...

I'm proud of myself.

Last week, I willingly accepted an invitation to a "Small Group" or "Community Group", a group of people who get together and discuss life and religion, etc. Aside from K, who invited me, I knew none of the others and still I agreed to go. They have a men's meeting, a women's meeting and then a group gathering once a month, though that schedule isn't set in stone as I found out.

So yes, I was invited to attend the group on Friday. Now I was hesitant for a variety of reasons. One, I hate people. I am all about avoiding social settings, especially with people I don't already know. I'm not sure if I'm introverted or shy, or have some sort of social anxiety, but basically, I'm a loner. I like being alone and one of the reasons I married my husband is because he's one of the few people whose presence doesn't bother me, though I need alone time even from him sometimes. Even when I make plans with friends, people I know, I'm not entirely upset when plans get cancelled, because that means I don't have to go out there and be social. I'm strange, I know this.

So when K extended this invitation, my instinct was to decline and stay at home, as I prefer to do. But I didn't. For a few reasons:
1. K has been a member of this small group for a few years now, and hadn't extended an invitation before, so we'll chalk this one up to curiosity.
2. I had a falling out with one of my closest friends back in January, so it's time to replace her, ha. But seriously, figured might as well branch out and meet new people, maybe make some new friends, though I'm not keeping the hope alive for that one.
3. I love K and any excuse to spend more time with her is more than welcome by me, even if I have to share her.
4. I'm having a lot of inner turmoil as far as my religion, and I want to learn more about these people and their religions. I know some of them have different religions than mine, and I'm just curious to see if I'm the only one having these thoughts.
5. If I'm an anti-social loner, then my husband is even more so than me.  He doesn't really have many friends, the closest one lives in Florida, so he's not out of the house much. It's pretty hard to get my needed alone time when the man doesn't leave the house. So it's in my best interest to get him out there a little more. I know it'll be a LONG while before he feels comfortable enough to go to the men's group alone, if ever, but at least I can say I tried. Never in a million years would I have imagined that I would be the social one in my marriage.

So I went, despite my anxiety, and it wasn't so bad. I mean, would I rather spend the night at home, taking a long bath and reading a good book or indulging in some Netflix? Absolutely. But once a month isn't too bad. And since most of the ladies in the group have children, I know that the once a month schedule isn't set in stone. As I found out that evening, some of the ladies hadn't seen each other since January, so that seems doable.

They were definitely a welcoming bunch. My hesitation at being super enthusiastic about joining this group is mostly my personal issues, not anything they did or said. I'm just not normally comfortable in these social situations, but I'm determined to change that, at least in this case. We'll see how long that lasts. The next gathering is a group one, for men and women. I'm going to try to drag the husband out to that one, so we'll see how much longer I can be social for. But I won't be surprised if I read back on this entry a few months from now and laugh at my attempt to change the way I am. Good luck me.


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