2020

 Hi Peanut!

You may be asking yourself why I'm writing a post titled 2020 in the middle of 2021, but the last post didn't even begin to explain the nightmare that was last year, so I'll get into that more in this post, before updating for 2021. 

So....you may have heard, but 2020 sucked. I don't want to dwell on the negativity of it, but I do want to record it for posterity. 

There was a global pandemic due to COVID19. Literal shut down. My job closed and sent everyone to work from home in March. Lots of places shut down. There was no toilet paper or hand sanitizer to be found. Luckily, your mom's crazy, paranoid self, had stocked up on Clorox wipes and sanitizer, because I had already heard rumblings of the disease earlier in the year. 

Around this time, I switched jobs, adding further to my stress. 

Along with the worries surrounding leaving your house and getting sick, there were other terrible things happening in the world: cases of police brutality against African-American's (George Floyd), murder by cops (Breonna Taylor), and countless others. All of this which understandably prompted protests, which led to looting and riots. People were angry and rightfully so. The racists came out in full force and showed their true colors. Our President at the time was an idiot who didn't help matters. It was scary. Our local streets and stores were shut down when looting hit. It was a rough time. Countless sleepless nights where I would stay up either trying to find some wipes or materials for masks at 2 or 3 am (I got lucky a few times) or where I was just watching the news and unable to sleep after because I was so upset. 

I will spare you further details but all of this led to me disconnecting completely from social media. My Facebook was already shut down, but I also stopped posting on Instagram and Snapchat. The one app that I turned to was, weirdly enough, TikTok, which is probably for a younger crowd but we were at home all day so there wasn't much to entertain ourselves with. The problem is TikTok is highly addictive so this didn't help me get any sleep. 

Then everybody started gearing up for election. I prayed so many nights that Cheeto wouldn't be re-elected. I was pregnant with you when he was elected the first time and I remember sobbing as the poll numbers were coming in because I was so disappointed in humanity and I kept apologizing to you for bringing you into this shitty, shitty world. I'm still so sorry about that because the world is still shitty and they don't deserve you. 

I couldn't enjoy it at the time, as I was gripped with anxiety, fear and nervousness, but in retrospect, it was awesome how idiot Cheeto got the boot. Even though Biden wasn't my first choice, at this point a 5 year old could've done a better job, so I was just looking for Cheeto to be out. Celebrities, athletes, news anchors, social media influencers, anyone with even a little bit of audience was speaking out against this man. People who previously held their political leanings to themselves or used to be open Republicans turned against him. And every time someone else spoke against him or spoke for anyone but him, he would get so angry and lash out. Like a child. It was great. 

When election day came, I was a mess. And then that night, when the race was too close to call, I saw my hope slipping away. It shouldn't even have been that close. I was disappointed. This was a Tuesday and they didn't officially call it until Saturday morning. That's right, days of constantly checking the poll numbers online, refreshing the same page I had already refreshed a thousand times, just to see if they had called another state. The days dragged on for me. I was on edge the whole time. 

Then that Saturday morning, I have it very clear in my mind, we went to Aldi to do some grocery shopping. It was a trip like any other, we loaded up our groceries and got in the truck. While we were loading, I had felt my phone vibrate so I checked it when I got in the truck. It was my friend Kim, asking me if she thought her cousin (Kamala, she joked, was her cousin) would invite her to a tour of the White House. I immediately shouted "Oh my God, I think Biden won" and your dad and I proceeded to furiously google. When I saw that they had called it, I buried my face in my hands and burst into tears. They were happy tears. I cried all the way home. I know, I'm a crybaby, but I was so, so happy. It was a relief like no other. We got home, unloaded everything and immediately turned on the TV. I cried some more as I watched all the news channels confirm that Cheeto was gone. 

I do feel things got a little better after that. It was a silver lining in the dark cloud that was 2020. I admit I was apprehensive until the official Inauguration happened in January (which I also cried at). I mean, I cried a lot. How bad of a President do you have to be that people cry and rejoice when you lose? People were celebrating all over the country and even the world. It was such a happy time. 

And then, in true 2020 form, things went downhill again. We all got COVID. Your dad tested positive first then you and I got sick even though we had tested negative. This was around Thanksgiving and your Nina's wedding and so yup, everyone got it. Grandma had it the worst, I had to take her to the ER one night. So scary. Luckily we all eventually recovered as best we could. It sucked so much in the moment, but we definitely got lucky in that regard because a lot of people who got it didn't make it, so I can't complain. 

Even though it was a rough time, the highlight of it was your Nina getting married. I felt horrible that her moment wasn't able to be how she imagined it because of stupid COVID, but I felt proud of the both of them as they stood at that altar despite all the difficulties. Wedding planning is super stressful, wedding planning while finding a place to live is worse, and wedding planning while finding a place to live AND during a pandemic is a nightmare. They both made the best of it and even with life throwing them a last minute curveball, they wed and started their life together, sans party. Unfortunately, they spent their honeymoon sick. But like I said, we all eventually recovered, thankfully. 

After that came Christmas and New Years, which were lowkey celebrations, with no outside guests, of course. My crazy ass made my brother and sister get covid tested before Christmas but because they know I'm crazy they did. I gave that up for New Year's and just enjoyed the end of the shitty year with my family. 

So there, that was 2020. Another highlight of 2020 is that because I was working from home, you and I got to spent more time together than we would've if nothing had happened. So in retrospect, that's a plus.

There was so much more that happened this year but I have probably blocked out a lot of it or don't wish to go back into the darkness since I'm in a decent mood right now. Maybe if I remember enough I'll update more or write another post. But yes, 2020 in a nutshell sucked. And 2021 isn't a huge improvement quite yet. More on that later.